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07 July 2007 @ 01:53 pm
Fanmix - Firefly - Simon Tam - Carry On Wayward Son  
Yes, I DO seem to be making a lot of pretty fannish things lately, don't I? ::giggles:: But it's a twofold form of fun - I get to create pretty things & you all get some form of enjoyment out of my creations!

& with this post, I return to what I loved to make in my early days of fandom - soundtracks! This is one I've been working on for quite some time now, & I'm really excited to be finally sharing it with others! It's my first contribution to the Firefly fandom, namely a mix for who may be my favourite male member of Serenity's crew - Dr. Simon Tam. This mix, while easily something I could listen to for quite some time, is something that was NOT easy to make. Mostly because I had so few songs that fit just Simon, but so many that fit him & River. I knew that I wanted this mix to just be about him, so it was something of a task to find songs that worked best for him alone. Of course, that's not to say that River doesn't pop up at least ONCE in this mix - she does of course!

So this mix took about . . . what, a month or two to make? It's been through MULTIPLE revisions, massive re-workings, plus an irritating lack of inspiration for cover art. But it's finally here & I really hope that everyone who downloads it enjoys it, especially the Simon fangirls, for whom I made this mix especially for!

& a couple of techinical notes for the mix & a little note of thanks to those that helped me with the mix!


- The songs Starlight & Simon are on Megaupload because Sendspace wasn't working for me this morning. If you need me to upload it to Sendspace, ask & I will!

- Lots of quotes in this mix! I usually don't have quotes in my mixes, but this time around I do. THANK GOD FOR THE OFFICAL FIREFLY COMPANIONS.

- This ISN'T the last mix featuring Simon that I have planned - I'm working on a Simon/Kaylee & a Mal/Simon one as well, so look for those in the near future.

- The kanji brushes on the back cover read as such, in order: Doctor, Brother, Loyalty, Lost. Just a random little factoid!

- On a semi-related note, I'd like to take this moment to pimp out the Simon Tam kinkathon that's happening over at talkcrazy! Go, go, sign up, OR leave some prompts! The world needs more Dom!Simon ficcage.

- WE NOW HAVE A ZIP! rapunzelita uploaded a full zip here on Sendspace, so now you don't have to download song by song! THANKS!

& now, before I shut up, I just want to give HUGE hugs, thanks, & strawberry kisses to lost_little_nat, a.k.a the Simon to my River, for providing a TON of lyric meta via MSN while I worked on this mix & helping me cut the stuff that wasn't working right, my friendslist for voting in the polls I posted in relation to this mix, for listening to all my blather concerning this mix for the past two months, & any & all Simon fangirls that download this mix - it's all for you!

& now, to the mix!

Snow Patrol - Whatever's Left

It's a feeling I've had many times before
I can't hold the fort so don't give me more
I struggle and sweat when I'm wide awake
When I know I'm fine, I'm not used to fine

Can you read my mind so easily
As the madness sets in

You must know that I'll follow you.

Simon, after springing River from the academy, discovering her insanity under an already arduous set of conditions.

"I don't know what they did to her, or why. I just know I have to keep her safe."

Brad Paisley - Sharp Dressed Man

A clean shirt, new shoes
And I don't know where I am goin' to
Silk suit, black tie,
I don't need a reason why.
They come runnin' just as fast as they can
'Cause every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man

Simon at the Eavesdown Docks, boarding Serenity.

(notes: I went back & forth on WHAT version of this song to use - this one or the original. Finally, I decided on this one because a) it's my favourite & b) it's slicker & far more Simon-esque to my ears!)

Lifehouse - Simon

. . . . .

Refuse to feel anything at all,
Refuse to slip,
Refuse to fall.
Can't be weak,
Can't stand still,
You watch your back 'cause no one will.
You don't know why they had to go this far,
Traded your worth for these scars,
For your only company.
And don't believe the lies
That they have told to you. Not one word was true
you're alright, you're alright, you're alright.

". . . You know I supported Unification?"

"So did I."

"I believed everything they told us. How the Alliance would solve our problems. Right the wrongs. I wanted to be a part of that."

- an exchange between Simon & Inara, cut from Bushwacked.

The Doors - People Are Strange

People are strange when you're a stranger,
Faces look ugly when you're alone.
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted,
Streets are uneven when you're down.

. . .

When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain.
When you're strange
No one remembers your name

Simon on Persephone, trying to blend in with the multitudes of people around him, while simultaneously trying to avoid any unwanted attention. He's out of his element, but he'll do whatever it takes when it comes to his sister. Later, even after boarding Serenity, he still feels out of place & unsure of what course of action to take next. He's the misfit on Serenity - his way of life & his personality all out of place in the black.

"It would have been unthinkable, three years ago, that I'd be on a ship with people like this."

Jet - Timothy

Timothy, I took your place
Timothy, cause it's such a waste
Timothy, we found your spaceship
Timothy, it's the farthest you've ever flown

. . .

It's not what it seems
But it is
Timothy where have you been?
Timothy where have you been?

. . .

Timothy, we found your spaceship
Timothy, did it hurt when you hit the ground?
. . .

Timothy where have you been
She cried in the kitchen
To let you go
Timothy where have you been?

Simon & his parents, as seen in Safe & after his arrest as he falls further & further down the status pole in his path to helping River.

Coldplay - In My Place

In my place, in my place
Were lines that I couldn't change
I was lost

I was lost, I was lost
Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed
I was lost

And yeah, how long must you wait for it?
How long must you pay for it?
How long must you wait for it?

I was scared, I was scared
Tired and underprepared
But I wait for it.

Sing it please, please, please
Come back and sing to me.

Simon's prepared to go the distance for his mei-mei. Anything to see her smile again, to see her dance.

"For two years, I couldn't get near her. Then I was contacted by some men, some underground movement . . . if I funded them they could sneak her out in cryo . . . and from there, I could take her . . . wherever."

Phantom Planet - Knowitall

I came home as someone else
Must have wished it on myself
When I got
Lost in thought while
We were out

Hours have passed and I have seen
The terror I am stuck between
Who I've been
And who I'm thinking
I could be

I was listening to a battle begin
Wondering which side would win

Did you say
Something? I'm
Sorry I

. . . .

Maybe I'm not good enough
Or you don't resemble what I've built up

. . . .

What should I do?
I'll tell you.
Pretty soon I'll shatter in two.

"You're right. This isn't something I want to do. But if I don't, than no one will. So I'll do it. I'll take care of her. Just like I always have."

Simon's choice to pursue rescuing his sister, no matter what the cause, even after his arrest & knowing the fact that his family will be of no help to him, that he is in this alone.

Rufus Wainwright - Poses

. . . All these poses of classical torture
Ruined my mind like a snake in the orchard.
I did go from wanting to be someone, now
I'm drunk and wearing flip-flops on Fifth Avenue

Once you've fallen from classical virtue
Won't have a soul for to wake up and hold you

Simon's fall from grace. He went from having everything, from being everything he ever wanted to be, to being nothing more than bounty, along with River.

". . . I thought the hospital was home. I was really making a difference there . . . and embarrassingly large stacks of money, and I could have - I would be there right now if she hadn't . . . if they had just left her alone."

Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers - Refugee

. . . It don't really matter to me baby,
You believe what you want to believe,
You don't have to live like a refugee.

". . . Why did you come back for us?"

"You're on my crew."

"You don't even like me. Why did you come back?"

"You're on my crew. Why are we still talking about this?"

Simon now knows that he has a place on Serenity, even if it took near-death & a rescue by the others to prove it.

(alternatively, this CAN be read as a more Mal-to-Simon song, than one just about Simon, but I felt that it should go in here anyway.)

Muse - Starlight

Far away
This ship has taken me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die

I will be chasing a starlight
Until the end of my life
I don't know if it's worth it anymore

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold you in my arms

My life
You electrify my life
Let's conspire to re-ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive

I'll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away
Never fade away

"I never planned anything. I just wanted to keep River safe. Spent so much time on Serenity trying to find us a home I never realized I already had."

After Safe, Simon becomes more at home on Serenity - less the fugitive passenger, more the ship's doctor & part of crew & family.

(which, I would like to add, also takes us perfectly right into our next song! & yes, yes, I cheated a little & borrowed a line of his from Serenity. But I think it could fit his mindset after Safe as well.)

PJ Harvey - Good Fortune

. . . .

And I feel like
Some bird of paradise
My bad fortune slipping away
And I feel the
innocence of a child
Everybody's got something good to say

Things I once thought
In my life
Have all taken place

. . . .

So I take my
good fortune
And I fantasize
Of our leaving
Like some modern-day
Gypsy landslide
Like some modern day
Bonnie and Clyde

On the run again

After almost being burned at the stake with his sister by hillfolk, Simon's life seems to be looking up, for once, if you overlook the near death he & the others encountered when Serenity's catalyzer blew. He plans one of Serenity's most successful jobs & manages a narrow escape from prison with Jayne & River. He's even beginning to nurture a flirtatious spark with Kaylee & even more importantly, he's beginning to find ways to help River heal. He's still running, but things don't seem as dark as they were when he first boarded.

Liz Phair - Why Can't I?

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me-
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?

. . .

Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch.
But wouldn't it be beautiful?

Here we go, we're at the beginning
We haven't fucked yet, but my head’s spinning

. . . .

High enough for you to make me wonder
Where it's goin'
High enough for you to pull me under
Somethin's growin'
Out of this that we can't control
Baby I am dyin'

Simon & his growing attraction to Kaylee - he's not sure if he's ever felt quite like this before - courtships in the Core are less about emotion & love, more about status & position. Feelings like these are rather new new to him.

Alanis Morissette - So Unsexy

Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly
One small sideways look and I feel so ungood
Somewhere along the way I think I gave you the power to make
Me feel the way I thought only my father could.

. . . .

How these little abandonments seem to sting so easily
I'm thirteen again am I thirteen for good?

I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved and for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind

. . . .

. . . Oh these little defenses how they fail to comfort me
Your hand pulling away and I'm devastated.

"This may come as a shock, but I'm actually not very good at talking to girls."

Simon at his most awkward moments with Kaylee. Saying the wrong thing to her could make any guy feel utterly unsexy & silly.

PJ Harvey - Is This Desire?
. . . .

The sun dressed the trees in green
and Joe said
"Dawn I feel like a king"
and Dawn's neck and her feet were bare
Sweetness in her golden hair

Said "I'm not scared"
Turned to her and smiled
Secrets in his eyes
Sweetness of desire

Is this desire, enough enough
To lift us higher, to lift above?

Simon & Kaylee, in the opening of Objects In Space, giggling & sharing stories & Kaylee with her bare feet & Simon with his dreamy eyes.

Air - Universal Traveler

. . . I know so many places in the world
I follow the sun in my silver plane

. . . .

I met so many
People in my life
I've got many friends
Who can care for me

. . . .

Is a brand new day
Let's go somewhere else

. . . .

So far away

Thousands of miles from his home in Capital City, Simon truly has found a home for himself & River. A caravan of sorts, traveling places he never would have seen otherwise. Every day's a new day & a new destination on Serenity for him.

Crossposted to fanmix, cortexradio & of course, riverdresses.
feeling a little: excitedexcited
hearing the sounds of: Ito Yuna ♦ Endless Story (Soundtrack Version)
the non-sequitur girl: [Serenity] Riverrapunzelita on July 7th, 2007 09:48 pm (UTC)
OMG Simon fanmix!!! Squeee!


Sorry for the capslock XD. But I really love Simon. Actually I love the whole Serenity crew, but Simon is the one I squee most about (closely followed by River).

Do you want me to make a .zip and upload it?

Queen Madam, May I?: Firefly -- Distress pantscruel_illusion on July 8th, 2007 12:38 am (UTC)
I would love you forever if you made this a zip! I'm dying to dl it but don't really have all evening to go song by song.
(no subject) - rapunzelita on July 8th, 2007 01:36 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - quigonejinn on July 8th, 2007 03:58 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - cruel_illusion on July 8th, 2007 05:39 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - riverdresses on July 8th, 2007 06:04 am (UTC) (Expand)
the girl with the purple slippers: DW - Lucygeeky_webmaster on July 7th, 2007 09:50 pm (UTC)
Wow, this turned out great! I know how much effort you put into it and these song and lyrics describe Simon (and his actions, feeling and relationships) very, very well.

Definately downloading some - if not all - of these!

A wonderful job!
[dreamwidth]: mal+simon // simple touchriverdresses on July 8th, 2007 06:07 am (UTC)

::hugs you::
(no subject) - geeky_webmaster on July 8th, 2007 12:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - riverdresses on July 8th, 2007 08:14 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Morgan: Firefly: Simonverycleanindeed on July 7th, 2007 10:14 pm (UTC)
I absolutely love this! Simon is my favorite character and you've really done him justice :)
[dreamwidth]: simon tam // the pretty doctorriverdresses on July 8th, 2007 06:10 am (UTC)
::eyes your icon sexily::

Er, I mean, THANK YOU! ^____^ Anything to spread the Simon love!
llivlallivla on July 7th, 2007 10:29 pm (UTC)
shouldn't 'is this desire' be called 'the river'? if you already knew that, i was just making sure i had her song.
llivlallivla on July 7th, 2007 10:30 pm (UTC)
also, who did your lj layout? it's gorgeous!
(no subject) - riverdresses on July 8th, 2007 06:12 am (UTC) (Expand)
quick! to the subplot!: Broken Malatromiti on July 7th, 2007 11:46 pm (UTC)
- an exchange between Simon & Inara, cut from Bushwacked.

Eeee! *fangasm like whoa* I don't remember seeing this in the deleted scenes section -- where did you find it? Or was it cut from the script pre-filming?
[dreamwidth]: mal+simon // opposites attractriverdresses on July 8th, 2007 06:15 am (UTC)
::tacklehuggles you::

It was cut from the script pre-filming - there's actually quite a few nice Simon-related things that got cut from the final episodes including what may be the slashiest bit for him & Mal in War Stories, sadly.
(no subject) - atromiti on July 8th, 2007 03:39 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - riverdresses on July 8th, 2007 08:17 pm (UTC) (Expand)
weaselettweaselett on July 8th, 2007 12:18 am (UTC)
oooooo - pretty simon, his eyes are so blue...*coughs*

Very nice mix, it fits Simon very well :D
Thanks for sharing!
[dreamwidth]: simon tam // a piercing gazeriverdresses on July 8th, 2007 06:25 am (UTC)
::swoony:: His eyes are just so lovely! & on a totally fangirlish note, there's one scene in Ariel where we get this GORGEOUS shot of his eyes & I can't even THINK when I see it - I get lost too easily! ::giggles::

Thank you for stopping by! :)
she makes her own dystopia as she goes: last frontierbedlamsbard on July 8th, 2007 12:23 am (UTC)
Simon! He was totally my favorite character in the show, and it feels like half of fandom hates him. Snagging, and thank you muchly.
[dreamwidth]: simon tam // don't think just shootriverdresses on July 8th, 2007 06:30 am (UTC)
Simon! He was totally my favorite character in the show, and it feels like half of fandom hates him.

HEAR HEAR! Simon needs love too! I'm totally proud to be his fangirl, no matter what! ^____^ Thank you for stopping by! :)
braintastic on July 8th, 2007 03:18 am (UTC)
hurray, a Simon fanmix! shan't be downloading, 'cause it's not really my type of music, but I think it's excellent that you made one. and one with such excellent cover art, too. <3
[dreamwidth]: simon tam // making you nervous?riverdresses on July 8th, 2007 06:31 am (UTC)
::beams:: Even if you didn't take anything, thank you for leaving me a few words! :)

& thank you for the kind words on my cover art! I agonized over that part almost as much as I did over the music.
Ronch Ronch Ronch: Simon: Burnsandoz_iscariot on July 8th, 2007 06:02 am (UTC)
Sendspace won't let me download the songs. ;_;
[dreamwidth]: simon tam // insert chinese hereriverdresses on July 8th, 2007 06:38 am (UTC)
Ugh, sorry for the sucky HTML. I meant to say that rapunzelita uploaded a full zip here, but if you still can't download it from Sendspace, let me know & I'll reupload onto Megaupload for you.
Autumn: too late you're down {random}penelopeblack on July 8th, 2007 11:17 am (UTC)
Wow, great job! Taking all the songs I don't already have. :)
[dreamwidth]: john stamos+sean maher // ::kissing::riverdresses on July 8th, 2007 08:19 pm (UTC)
SQUEE! ::dances all spastically:: Enjoy the shiny Simon love!
inderpalinderpal on July 8th, 2007 05:53 pm (UTC)
SO.MUCH.LOVE!!! for this mix for it is maded of awesome!!
I love all our music choices!! ♥
[dreamwidth]: simon tam // pretty when you're ineptriverdresses on July 8th, 2007 08:21 pm (UTC)
WHEE! You guys were like, SO MUCH HELP TO ME when I was doing this! ::squeezes with lots & lots of love::
I work, I function like i'm a girl.okelay on July 9th, 2007 12:04 am (UTC)
great mix!! love the choice of songs (and simon,of course)

i hate that i am so thick i didnt realize there was a zip until i had finished dl all songs!
[dreamwidth]: simon tam // making you nervous?riverdresses on July 9th, 2007 05:03 am (UTC)
Thank you! Simon is ♥ ♥ ♥ !
(Deleted comment)
[dreamwidth]: text // simon tam = my big damn heroriverdresses on July 9th, 2007 05:00 am (UTC)
You're very welcome! Enjoy! :)
lost_little_nat on July 9th, 2007 06:20 pm (UTC)

betsy, you posted & i didn't know!


honey, this is so many shades of love&hearts
i'm so looking forward to listening to this!

ps. i'm home again!
wanna talk?
[dreamwidth]: summer // sexypouty!riverdresses on July 11th, 2007 06:47 am (UTC)


i'm so so glad you like it!

::dances with you::

trisky businesstriskellita on July 10th, 2007 08:32 pm (UTC)
this looks really good, and the covers are gorgeous. snagging the zip. thanks!
[dreamwidth]: simon+inara // good work doctorriverdresses on July 11th, 2007 07:02 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! :D Enjoy!